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“Cookies and Creme!!” • April 1, 2006

It’s just a fact — I really am a genius!!

It all started when I woke up late on a work day!  So I rushed around trying to get ready.  I had to threaten my blond mop with a “Mohawk” before it would settle down, but I finally made it out the door.  A dash to the car, a dash down the street toward the office, a quick check of the time, and Woo-Hoo, I’m not going to be late!

That is, until I’m a block from the office and realize that we’re having our annual “charity breakfast thingie” at the office.  THE Boss seems to be on the board or something of every organization in town.  And of course, he hustles all of his employees to contribute to his pet charities.  That sounds like I’m being tacky, but I’m really not.  The charities do good work and help a lot of people.  And I think it’s nice that THE Boss helps them.  And I certainly can’t complain about what little I can afford to give because not only does THE Boss make a substantial personal contribution, he also personally matches every penny that his employees give.  SO — it’s very hard not to jump on the bandwagon with him.  AND — I do — and so does everyone else — and we’re proud of what we do!

This particular one for today is the “big one” of the year.  We have a nice breakfast at the office, the president of the organization makes her spiel, then THE Boss makes his.  It really is a pretty nice things to do.  A lot of the breakfast is catered, (THE Boss picks up the tab,) but practically everyone in the company brings some additional little goodie.  In particular, we bring a lot of desserts!  That would normally be wonderful for a dessert-aholic like me — BUT — not only am I about to be late — I also volunteered to bring a dessert!  YIKES!  What am I going to do?

SO — a quick veer into the grocery store parking lot — and a quick dash inside.  I check out the bakery and they have got a million really nice things — and everyone of them says, “Meredith bought this instead of making it like she promised!” I could have lived that down, but I really did intend to make something special — after all, everyone in the office is a friend!

SO — how to do something really unique, really good, and really wicked in the next thirty seconds??  While I’m frantically thinking, I noticed a table set up with a bunch of close-out items on it.  AND — one of the items is a big plastic tray with a bowl for the center for serving snacks with dips!!  As I stared at it, (and frantically rubbed blond brain cells together,) inspiration hit!  So I grab the tray and bowl, (Two bucks!  I’d have grabbed it anyway,) and take off down the aisle!!

I dash into the office a couple of minutes before everything gets started and head for the break room to assembly my “wicked masterpiece!” And then I run down the hall and set it down on the long table with a zillion other dessert goodies.

AND Tomás is standing there watching me.  “What are you trying to pull, Chica? You haven’t got anything but a plate full of Oreo cookies!”

WELL — instead of throttling him like he deserved, (Tomás is one of my best friends at the office — he’s the VP of programming,) I dunked an Oreo into the “dip,” then popped the cookie into Tomás’ open mouth!!

WELL — it took about ten seconds for his eyes to refocus as he came back down to Earth!  And then the big jerk shoved me out of the way and he started dipping his own cookies!!  Which did not go unobserved by the other persons of the male persuasion that were starting to congregate!!

And then fortunately, THE Boss showed up a minute or two later to restore order!  Not only is THE Boss the Boss, he’s also the Lord High Constable when order needs to be restored!!  It seems my 30 second dessert had made quite a hit!!

And you may well ask — exactly what was this wicked little delight??? It was four bags of Oreo Double stuff cookies arranged around the tray.  And in the middle dipping bowl I had emptied four cans of Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk with a heavy dash of vanilla!!!

Think about it for a moment — cookies and “plain” milk is a big favorite with a lot of people — but cookies and “sweetened condensed” milk is just off the wall good!!  By the time that THE Boss stepped in, there wasn’t a cookie crumb left and Karl, our CIO, had the dipping bowl cradled in his arms mopping up the last dregs!!

And if you are still scoffing, cruise over to the local market, pick out your cookies of choice, and grab a can of Eagle Brand.  Arrange you, the cookies, and the Eagle Brand in a comfy sofa, pop the top on the magic little can, (you don’t even need an opener — it’s got a pull tab,) and — if you can get up before everything is gone, then you are a stronger person than anyone I’ve ever known!!!

AND — this little invention led to a few variation.  Get some yummy fresh strawberries, pare off the stem at the top, wash them off, dry them on a paper towel, and try dunking then in Eagle Brand!!!  YUM-YUM-YUM!!

I’ll leave it to your own wicked minds to think of other tasty treats to dunk!!  And if you get mugged by your own spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or mother or father or kids or grandparent or whoever, it’s your own fault because you should have got enough cans for everyone!!!



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Last Updated: April 2006

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