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“Sheep!!!” • September 19, 2005

This one is guaranteed to be different than what you expect!


Meredith »

There was a gorgeous blond who was sick of all the blond jokes.  One day, she tied up her blond hair and pulled a brunette wig over it.  She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.  She had always thought that sheep were just so adorable and cuddly and she’d always wanted to have one as a pet.

So — she figured she could show how smart she was — AND get a cute little lamb — all at once!

She opened her laptop computer, plugged in the satellite Wi-Fi connection, downloaded an instantaneous picture of the field from a spy satellite and quickly counted the sheep.  With a sly grin, she drove up next to the really cute looking sheepherder tending his flock.

Blond »

“Hey there!  I have a sporting proposition for you.  A little bet!”

Sheepherder »

“What kind of bet?”

Blond »

“If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock then I get to take one home.”

The sheepherder turned and looked carefully at his sheep grazing in the pasture.  He could see a dozen or so but the rest were safely out of sight over the hill.  He turned back to the disguised blond and looked her over just as carefully.

Sheepherder »

“OK — but if you guess wrong — then I get to take YOU home.”

Blond »

“Done!!”

The blond glances around at the sheep and then closes her eyes for a moment in apparent deep concentration.

Blond »

“You’ve got 426 sheep!”

Sheepherder »

“Wow!  That’s exactly right!  I don’t know how you did it, but — a bet’s a bet and you win — so pick out your sheep.”

The disguised blond selects one and is about to put it in the trunk of her car when she stops and turns back to the sheepherder.

Blond »

“You’re pretty cute for a sheepherder — and a pretty good sport, too.  If you’ll take me to dinner, I might pick up my sheep tomorrow.”

Sheepherder »

“Alright!  This is the kind of bet I like!  And I’ll be —“

Joke Director »

“OK!  OK!  CUT!  CUT!!  JUST STOP RIGHT THERE!!!  What’s going on here?  Didn’t either one of you learn your lines?  You — Sheepherder! — you’re supposed to say, ‘I’ve got another bet for you — if I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?’ just like it says in the script!”

Sheepherder »

“Why would I say that?  My dog’s over there sleeping under my truck.  She picked out a lamb.”

Joke Director »

“You’re supposed to say it because she’s such a dumb blond that she thinks your dog is a sheep — and puts it in the trunk of her car.”

Blond »

“Are you out of your mind?  His dog’s a Chihuahua — no one could possibly think it’s a sheep.”

Joke Director »

“This is a dumb blond joke — it’s supposed to be funny — you’re this stupid ditzy imbecile of a dumb blond that can’t tell a dog from a sheep.”

Blond »

“I don’t like your tone at all, Buster — it’s insulting!”

Sheepherder »

“Yeah, Bud!  I think you need to apologize to the Lady!”

Joke Director »

“I’m not going to apologize to either of you morons!  You two are royally messing up this joke!!  So let’s try it again from the top — and get it right this time — she’s the dopey blond and you’re the hayseed sheepherder!!!”

Meredith »

WELL —

To make a long story short — the blond pulled off her brunette wig, (to the absolute delight of the sheepherder,) — and she went to dinner with him — and in the morning she called her boss and quit her job — and instead of getting one lamb out of the deal — she got 426 sheep and a really cute sheepherder!  (And a Chihuahua!)

OH — and, also, in the morning — they let the Joke Director out of the trunk of her car!!

All’s well that ends well!!!!


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Last Updated: October 2006


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