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|“God Given Gifts!” • September 19, 2005|
The divine joys of blondeness!!!
Three deeply religious redheads are hiking through the wilderness and come to a raging river.
The first redhead looks at the water, then falls to her knees to pray, “Lord, although the river is wide and treacherous, I’m a feisty redhead that never backs away from any challenge, so give me the strength to swim across this deadly torrent.”
There is a deafening thunderclap and the redhead feels her muscles begin to grow! With divine confidence she jumps into the river and begins stroking toward the far side. The other two watch as she fights the roaring current. Three times, they see her disappear beneath the rapids, but each time her God given new strength pulls her through. After an hour, they see her finally crawl up on the far shore exhausted.
The second redhead thinks about how hard it was for the first to swim across even with God given strength, then falls to her knees to pray, “Lord, although the river is wide and treacherous, give me the wisdom to cross it safely.”
There is a deafening thunderclap and the redhead is now a brunette! She looks around, finds several logs and vines which she fashions into a raft. She improvises a paddle the same way, then pushes the raft into the river.
The last redhead watches as the new brunette contends with the current. The raft flips over twice, but the brunette manages to climb back aboard and paddles on. After an hour, just as she reaches the far side, the raft disintegrates and she swims the last thirty feet to crawl exhausted onto the shore.
The third redhead thinks about how difficult it was for the first two to get across the river, then falls to her knees to pray, “Lord, brains and brawn don’t seem to have worked out very well. I don’t care how you do it — just get me across the river.”
There is a deafening thunderclap and the redhead is a drop dead gorgeous blond!
AND — seventeen boatloads of fisherman pull up to offer her a ride,
AND — six Boy Scout troops begin building rope bridges,
AND — three life flight helicopters land beside her,
AND — the Army Corp of Engineers starts constructing a dam,
AND — five platoons of Marines arrive in amphibious assault vehicles,
AND — two blimps are ramming each other trying to land,
AND — the Coast Guard air and sea rescue arrives,
AND — a squadron of UFO flying saucers touches down,
AND — Superman swooshes down from the sky,
AND — the Navy sends an entire carrier battle group,
AND — all the beavers in four counties begin gnawing down trees,
AND — Merlin arrives in a puff of smoke,
AND — three guys zoom in on flying carpets,
AND — Dumbo flaps his way down to her side,
AND — Moses commands the river to part,
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Last Updated: October 2006
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