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“Television Crisis!!” • September 19, 2005

There's got to be some kind of FTC advertising problem here!

Just at the climatic moment of the gorgeous blonde’s favorite soap opera, her TV went up in a cloud of smoke!

She raced down to the local store, checked the display in the front window on the way in, and said to the clerk, “I want to buy that TV out in the front window!  It’s an emergency!”

The clerk looked her over carefully, then turned and pointed to a sign behind the counter.  “You see that sign, Honey? ‘We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.’ And — I’m refusing you service — we don’t sell to blondes.  So beat it!”

Out on the sidewalk, she stood first shocked at the rudeness, and then quickly came to a full boil at how she was treated.  She ran into the dress shop next door for a quick change of clothes, then to the wigmaker at the end of the block for a brunette wig.

She ran back into the store and said, “I want to buy that TV out in the front window.”

The clerk just shook his head, “Look, I’ve already told you — we DON’T sell to blondes!  So get lost!”

Now totally furious, she made a second change of clothes into some suitably punk clothing, then sat down in the barber’s chair across the street, “Shave it all off!!  Every bit of it!  Even the eyebrows!  I’m gonna fix that creep yet!”

Back into the store for the third time, she said, “I want to buy that TV out in the front window.”

“Look, I’ve already told you twice — WE DON’T SELL TO BLONDES!  Now get out of here before I call the cops!”

“Why won’t you sell me the TV in the window? And how do you even know I’m a blond?”

“Because that TV in the window is a microwave.”

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Last Updated: October 2006

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