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“Blond Felon” • September 25, 2005

I don’t think even I’ve got the guts for this!

A police officer stops a gorgeous blond as she is speeding down the highway.

Blond »

“Is there a problem, Officer?”

Officer »

“You were going a little fast.  May I see you driver’s license?”

Blond »

“I don’t have one.  After the third DWI they took it away from me.”

Officer »

“I see — may I see your vehicle registration papers?”

Blond »

“I can’t do that either.  This isn’t my car — I stole it.”

Officer »

“You stole it?”

Blond »

“Yes sir — from the trashy brunette that was messing around with my boyfriend.  I stole her car, killed her, killed my boyfriend, and stuffed their bodies in the trunk.  Along with the sack of traveling money from the holdup at the bank.”

The officer looks at the blond and backs slowly away from the car.  He calls for backup and soon there are six police cars surrounding the blond and her stolen car.

Captain »

A police captain walks up to her door with his gun half drawn.  “Will you step out of the car, Miss?”

Blond »

“Of course, Officer.  Is there a problem?”

Captain »

“The patrol officer says you killed two people — and stole this car — and robbed a bank.  He said the bodies were in the trunk.”

Blond »

“That’s ridiculous!”

Captain »

“Would you open your trunk?”

She opened the trunk and there is nothing in it but a spare tire.

Captain »

Now totally puzzled, the captain asks, “May I see the car registration — and your driver’s license?”

Blond »

“Of course, Officer,” and the blond hands both of them to the captain.

Captain »

The captain is completely mystified and says, “I don’t understand what’s going on here.  The patrolman says you killed two people, stole a car, robbed a bank, and were driving without a license.”

Blond »

“And I’ll bet you that liar told you I was speeding, too!”

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Last Updated: October 2006

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