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“Rural Confrontation!!” • February 22, 2006

Bet she wouldn’t like tipping cows either!

A local farm boy goes off to college and returns to the family watermelon farm with both a degree in agriculture and a brand new gorgeous blond wife!  The blond was from a city back East and was totally unaccustomed to rural life.  One morning her husband mentions that some kids stole a couple of watermelons during the night.

The blond was totally appalled, “What are you going to do about? Are you going to call the police? Can they get fingerprints off the vines or something?”

Her husband just grins, “We’ve got a hundred acres of watermelons.  A couple or three ain’t gonna make much difference.  Stealing watermelons is almost a rite of passage out here.  Heck, when I was a kid, even I used to steal watermelons from the neighbors.”

The blond wasn’t buying any of the excuses, “Then shame on you — and shame on the kids that stole the ones last night!  Stealing is a sin and it must stop — and I know just how to stop it!!”

So the blond has a big sign installed at the watermelon field, “Warning: One of these Watermelons Contains Cyanide!”

That night, she hides in the field across the road and watches as a group of kids arrive for a raid — then she grins as they read the sign and take off in a hurry!!”

A week later, the husband comes storming in and says, “Now just look what you’ve done!!  You and your stupid sign are gonna ruin us — somebody changed it during the night — now it reads, “Warning: TWO of these Watermelons Contain Cyanide!!”

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Last Updated: October 2006

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