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“Heavenly Transportation!!” • March 31, 2006

A rather naughty and very twisted tale!!  It’s not what you think!!

Three guys die and appear at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter interviews each in turn.  He tells the first guy, “Here in Heaven we assign vehicular transportation based upon your fidelity down on Earth.  Now according to our records, you were married to a gorgeous blond.  Is that correct?”

“That’s right, St. Peter.”

“And were you always faithful to your gorgeous blond wife?”

“Yes, Sir!  During our entire marriage, I never strayed even once.”

St. Peter nodded approvingly, “That’s highly commendable!  As a reward for you fidelity, please accept these keys to a new Gold Cadillac for your Heavenly transport.”

St. Peter turns to the second guy and asks, “How about you? You were married to a redhead.  Were you ever unfaithful?”

“Well, St. Peter — yes I was — but just a couple of times — and my redhead wife beat the daylights out of me after each incident.”

St. Peter thinks it over and then says, “Hmmm — it seems that you may have already been at least partially punished for your infidelity — so here’s the keys to a new Gold Chevrolet.”

He turns to the third guy, “And how about you, Sir?”

“Well — I was married to a brunette — and she never beat me up — I’m pretty sure she never knew what I was doing — but I was unfaithful a lot.  At least once a week — sometimes even more.”

St. Peter says, “Hmmm — I’m surprised that you even made it up here — but since you did, here’s a Gold Bicycle.”

A while later, the guy in the Gold Chevrolet is driving along and sees the guy with the Gold Cadillac sitting on the side of the road with tears of despair rolling down his face.  He stops the Chevrolet and asks the guy why he’s crying.

He replied through his tears, “I just saw my wife drive by in a Gold Rolls Royce!!!!!”

“A Gold Rolls Royce? Why are you crying about that? You’re wife was obviously supremely faithful.”

“You don’t understand.  I KNOW she wasn’t faithful — she was NEVER faithful!  She even had a couple of dates on our honeymoon — and then it got a lot worse!!  She was unfaithful several times everyday of our marriage!!  When I got up here and learned the rules, I thought I’d finally see some justice!  I didn’t think they’d let her in, but even if she did, I figured she’d be doing well to get a pair of Gold Shower Thongs.”

“Then how did she get a Gold Rolls Royce?”

“How do YOU think a gorgeous blond got a Gold Rolls Royce???? And I noticed that she had some guy’s Gold Bicycle strapped to the trunk rack!!!!”

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Last Updated: October 2006

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