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“He's Dumb, #1!” • January 31, 2006

A few quaint ways to express your disgust!

He’s on the fast track to the dumpster.

He forgot to pay his brain bill — again!

He never should have bought that cheap imitation brain.

His brain needs a booster chair.

He was born in the shallow end of the gene pool.

He’s proof that common sense isn’t very common.

His rowboat is missing the oars.

If he added his “two cents worth” to the discussion he’d be bankrupt.

His brain is still missing in inaction.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Forget finding the forest, he can’t even find the trees.

The light’s on, but nobody’s home.

His train is missing the engine.

Penny wise and trillion dollar foolish.

His engine’s hitting on about three cylinders.

His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

On a good day he can almost dress himself.

He’s a 5 watt bulb in a 100 watt fixture.

He gives ignorance a bad name.

He’s none too tightly wired.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

He’s a few degrees out of plumb.

Even stupid people think he’s a imbecile.

He graduated Non Compos Mentis.

He’s surfing in Nebraska.

The pilot light for his brain has been out for a long time.

He can’t even remember the rules to rock, scissors, and paper.

Worldwide, there must be at least dozens of people dumber than him.

He’s got about three pounds of warm oatmeal between the ears.

Swap his brain with a monkey’s and you’d end up with one really dumb monkey.

His brain is running on empty.

Since he’s a “self-made man” it’s a pity he didn’t pay more attention to the brain installation instructions.

He’s got a whole family of squirrels living in the attic.

His IQ in Roman numerals only requires “I’s.”

He’s a taco short of a combination plate.

His evolution stopped about 20 million years ago.

His name is Ron but everyone calls him Mo.

All his guns are firing blanks.

He’s dumber than a box of hair.

A penny for his thoughts is a huge waste of money.

He’s the national poster boy for stupidity for the tenth year in a row.

He’s a few peas short of a casserole.

He’s running with only one headlight.

He brags that he’s smarter than Norman Einstein.

He couldn’t get an academic scholarship to kindergarten.

He’s been declared mentally incompetent in 43 states — so far.

He’d get lost running to first base.

His brain has left the building.

His bulb’s not dim — it’s totally burned out.

If his brain caught fire it wouldn’t singe a single hair.

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Last Updated: October 2006

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