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“He's Dumb, #2!” • January 31, 2006

A few more useful expressions!


He’s got the loneliest brain cell in town.

He’s a few beers short of a six-pack.

All the water’s been drained from his swimming pool.

He still can’t color inside the lines.

His intellect is well exceeded by his shoe size.

He makes you pray that stupidity isn’t contagious.

In the dictionary, his picture is the definition of idiot.

If he had green hair everyone would mistake him for a chia pet.

He’s even dumber than he looks.

He’s a chimney short of a fireplace.

He be rich if he auctioned off his brain because it has obviously never been used.

His brain still has training wheels.

He’s as dumb as a paper bag of dead mice.

He makes a fish out of water seem extremely capable.

You couldn’t jump start his brain with a dozen booster cables.

He’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

The wheel’s spinning, but his hamster’s dead.

He’s a sandwich short of a picnic.

His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.

He’s a great bargain — you don’t just get ignorance for your money, you get gross ignorance.

He’s trying to play baseball with a tennis racquet.

He has an intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

Check Roget’s and his name is the antonym of intelligence.

The more you talk to him the more you respect the intellect of your pet rock.

If only his IQ matched his ego.

His life’s ambition is to win a Darwin Award — we all hope he hurries.

If dumb were dirt, he’d cover about an acre.

He lost the spelling bee to a pint of cottage cheese.

He’s a few clowns short of a circus.

He’s fighting the battle with a rubber sword.

He’s the black hole of intelligent thought.

His brain’s been in neutral since birth.

Breathing is an intellectual challenge for him.

He’s intuitively incompetent.

He’s got about 47 cards in his deck.

The light bulb over his head has been burned out since birth.

He should donate his organs NOW.

Since ignorance is bliss, he’s the happiest person on Earth.

He’s proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

There is way too much yardage between his goal posts.

He picked looks over brains and then REALLY got royally cheated.

He’s almost as smart as bait.

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

He’s all foam and no beer.

In the pinball game of life, his flippers are a lot farther apart than most.

If they ever add stupidity to the Olympics he’s a sure fire medallist.

He’s still trying to get the hang of patty cake.

It’s too bad his brain and mouth aren’t connected.

His brain has been flat-lining since birth.

Someone let all the fizz out of his soda.


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Last Updated: October 2006


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