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“He's Dumb, #3!” • January 31, 2006

And yet a few more!

On the road to success he’s driving in reverse.

He’s got a room temperature IQ.

He’s got a photographic memory but the lens cap is glued on.

He’s a Gross Ignoramus — that’s 144 times dumber than a Common Ignoramus.

He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.

He’s got the six pack, but the plastic thing to hold it together is missing.

He has two brain cells — one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

He’s a prime candidate for natural deselection.

If he were any dumber, he’d have to be watered twice a week.

He’s so dense, light bends around him.

He’s not a “has been” — he’s a “won’t be.”

He has delusions of adequacy.

He got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

If brains were taxed, he’d get a refund.

He’s as bright as Alaska in December.

He has reached rock bottom and started to dig.

He’s depriving some village of an idiot.

If we could only figure out how to harness the power of his stupidity think how cheap our electric bills would be.

All of us are really the stupid ones because we let him vote and drive a car.

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