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“Singles Bar, #3!” • November 6, 2005

And still a few more tips!


Guy »

“So what do you do for fun?”

Blond »

“I love getting married!  But all my husbands died tragically on our honeymoon.  By the way — are you rich?”

 

Guy »

“I’ll bet you have lots of dates.”

Blond »

“Quite a few — let’s compare names and see if we’ve dated any of the same people.”

 

Guy »

“I’d do anything for you.”

Blond »

“Really? Then introduce me to some of your rich friends with terminal heart conditions.”

 

Guy »

“You remind me of someone famous.”

Blond »

“I AM famous — the murder trial for my dear departed husband comes up next month.”

 

Guy »

“Wanna dance? I’m a great dancer.”

Blond »

“Sorry, can’t tonight.  I forgot my hand organ and your little hat, tin cup, and leash.”

 

Guy »

“I’ll bet you just love animals.”

Blond »

“Only the mammals.”

 

Guy »

“So — how’d you like to get physical?”

Blond »

“I don’t dare — if I break one more guy’s neck they’re gonna put me away for good.”

 

Guy »

Your face could launch a thousand ships.

Blond »

Your face could launch a thousand heaves.

 

Guy »

How do you like my rugged outdoor tan?

Blond »

They must have installed a tanning booth to cut down on prison pallor.

 

Guy »

I’m on the fast track at work.

Blond »

I’ll bet they give you a brand new broom any day now.

 

Guy »

I’m an artist — I’d love to have you as a model.

Blond »

I’m a butcher — I’d love to have you as beef stew.

 

Guy »

I’m really well endowed in the male department.

Blond »

I can tell!  You’ve got the biggest ego I’ve ever encountered.

 

Guy »

How’d you like to get up close and personal?

Blond »

How’d you like to get dead and buried?

 

Guy »

I graduated Summa Cum Laude.

Blond »

I figured you graduated Non Compos Mentis.

 

Guy »

You seem like a really sweet girl.

Blond »

Yes, “seem” — that’s how I fooled the jury — twice.

 

Guy »

I could really go for a girl like you.

Blond »

OK, let’s see you go — Mars or Hell — your choice.

 

Guy »

I’ll bet you get asked out a lot.

Blond »

Not anymore — guys are too afraid of catching something.


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Last Updated: October 2006


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