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“Singles Bar, #4!” • March 31, 2006

And even still more tips!


Guy »

Would you like to step out for a bite?

Blond »

Great, I haven’t bitten anyone in hours.

 

Guy »

So what do you think of me.

Blond »

You rate a ten on my creep-o-meter.

 

Guy »

All the girls seem to “go” for me.

Blond »

All the villagers seem to “go” for Frankenstein.

 

Guy »

Don’t you know who I am?

Blond »

Let me guess — a weapon on mass destruction?

 

Guy »

Don’t you know who I am?

Blond »

Sorry — I haven’t checked the post office wanted posters lately.

 

Guy »

Don’t you know who I am?

Blond »

Let me guess — 300 pounds of bad breath?

 

Guy »

Don’t you know who I am?

Blond »

Sorry — I don’t watch America’s Most Wanted anymore.

 

Guy »

Don’t you know who I am?

Blond »

Sorry — my cable company dropped Animal Planet.

 

Guy »

I’m just trying to have a little conversation — try saying something nice.

Blond »

OK — you don’t sweat much for a fat ugly hairy Neanderthal.

 

Guy »

I’m just trying to have a little conversation — try saying something nice.

Blond »

OK — at least you don’t draw as many flies as fresh manure — not quite.

 

Guy »

I’m just trying to have a little conversation — try saying something nice.

Blond »

OK — you smell slightly better than second day road kill, but looks are about a tie.

 

Guy »

I really like your dress.  Where did you buy it?

Blond »

It wouldn’t do you any good — they don’t stock your size.

 

Guy »

Maybe I could send you some flowers.

Blond »

Only if you pick them yourself — I like poppies from Afghanistan.

 

Guy »

What about some candy? Surely you like that.

Blond »

Candy is dandy — but you’re not.

 

Guy »

I know just how I could make you happy.

Blond »

You mean you’re rich, dying within the hour, and I’m in your will?

 

Guy »

Aren’t you being just a little rough on me?

Blond »

Not really — you’re still breathing.

 

Guy »

Where’s your favorite place to go around here?

Blond »

I love going to the zoo and feeding the pigeons — to the lions.


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Last Updated: October 2006


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