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|“Memories Go Both Ways” • May 16, 2006|
Back to lovemaking!!
So far on this little extended making memories ditty, I talked about things I do to create memories. But it works both ways. Roger creates memories, too. Wonderful, sweet, and loving memories. And because we have talked about it, he knows just how to ring “Meredith’s chime.”
If you look back at the “Lovemaking” M Column, you’ll find one good example of how he swept me off my feet — literally!
Here’s another example. Roger had been out at the server farm in California for a few days. It’s a lot easier to fix problems when you’ve got someone both outside the box and someone “inside” the box. Roger has become kind of our “go to” guy when we’ve really got problems and need someone on the inside to help straighten them out.
We talked the night before and planned on getting together when he returned the next day. In fact, instead of coming by the office, he was just heading straight to my place. And yes — we were both “eager” to see each other again.
So Roger gets back a little before five and goes to wait for me according to plan. What is NOT according to plan is that I have had a completely ROTTEN day! Never mind the particulars, but let’s just say I was furious, a little beat up emotionally, and even a little beat up physically from when some moron moved a wall in the middle of an animation. So — I drive home and try to settle down and just focus on Roger’s homecoming. That is, “Put on a happy face and do your best to live up to the expectations you both were so happy about last night.”
And when I walk in, Roger says, “I just talked to Kyla and got an idea of what your day was like. So — get you shoes off so I can rub your feet. I’ll get us a couple of glasses of wine poured and then I want you to tell me all about it while I take care of your tootsies.”
Holy Cats!! How can a girl not be crazy about a guy like that!!! He called Kyla to check on me, (and my mood,) and then reacted so perfectly to it.
So — I got a foot rub, I got to vent off my steam to a sympathetic ear, got two glasses of good Chardonnay, and the bad day was behind me! The take-out Chinese food he had ordered arrived and we ate. Then I got a relaxing bath, a gentle rub down, and fell happily asleep in this crazy character’s arms after some very sweet love making. I couldn’t have asked for anything better and I’m darn sure not gonna forget the time when Roger was so perfectly wonderful in helping me out of my mental dump!!!
SO — let’s take a look at all this. What I do to make things memorable for Roger is different than what he does to make things memorable for me. But, that makes a lot of sense because not only are we different people, we are also a guy and a girl. If he put a pair of his underwear in my luggage for example, I’d remember it, but it’s not going to have the same impact as my panties did on him. Similarly, if he’d have had a rotten day, he’d have reacted a lot better to an undressed Meredith waiting to take his mind off of the problem than a sympathetic ear and a foot rub.
But that all leads back to knowing and understanding each other — and that always leads back to talking about things. You can’t know a person unless you talk.
But once you get to the communicating stage, then you can start putting that knowledge to work. What I mean by that, is that I’ve got to think like a “guy” and figure out what will turn on Roger and he similarly has to think like a “girl” and figure out what’s gonna work for me.
And at least with us, the lines are not that clearly drawn between physical and emotional. There are some physical things that are a definite attractant to me and there are some emotional things that are an attractant to Roger.
For example, I really like to watch him working out on his weight machine. It’s not so much the strength, but the fluid way his arms and chest work when he’s lying there bench pressing a “couple of Meredith” in weigh. There’s something hypnotic to me. If he were trying to show off, it wouldn’t have the same impact, (if any,) but he’s not. He’s just going about the business of working out. But I do love to watch!! And so I asked him to take off his shorts and then I watched all his muscles working together. Arms and chest of course, but also his abdomen, thighs, calves, back, neck, everything! It wasn’t the nudity, but the opportunity to watch all those muscles all working together so perfectly synchronized that really knocked my socks off! Sort of like watching a lion or a tiger — or better yet — a cheetah running in slow motion — the body coiling and uncoiling with each stride! I won’t ever forget the first time I saw him like that!
Roger told me about something I did that really made him feel wonderful. If you’ve read “La Giocanda” in the “@ Work & Play” gallery you’ll know that when we first met, Roger saw a “lot of me” in the first few seconds. That had a big impact on him, but not a personal impact because we didn’t know each other and as far as we knew might never “know” each other better. But we talked at work later at work over a Diet Coke, had a pizza with the gang, and had a couple of lunches later in the week. I didn’t know where we were going and neither did he. Then a few days later we went to the mall with the gang for a group shopping expedition. We were getting ready to leave and started walking to the car — and Roger was walking beside me — and — I reached over and put my hand in his — and we just continued walking to the parking lot. Roger told me later that he had never felt happier in his life. Just my hand in his — but it was a symbol to him — and to me — that Roger and Meredith might just have a future together. I remember that day as well as he does. And I didn’t even “consciously” do it. It just seemed like a natural thing to do. As it turned out, it was one of those “turning points” for both of us.
So — even though Roger and I are still “figuring” each other out, we have learned a lot about pleasing each other and in particular how to make our moments together memorable. If you can attain half of what we have, you’ll be doing very well indeed.
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Last Updated: May 2006
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