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“Compatibility Issues #1” • May 17, 2006


Compatibility is the BIG one if you want to maintain smooth female/male relationships!  And it doesn’t have anything to do with love!  You can love someone to death but they will drive you so crazy that in time you’ve got to leave — quickly!  Compatibility is about all those little traits we all have that annoy other people.  To have a good solid relationship based upon lots of compatibility, then each of you must not have too many annoying little “things” that drive the other person crazy.

So were gonna take a look at some of those annoying little quirks and see how people stack up — and how they handle the annoyances.  I’m gonna use our little gang of eight friends for examples.

Let’s start with a big one — TARDINESS!!

Here’s the scorecard:

Meredith — B- I always intend to be on time and I’m pretty good at planning ahead.  And I’m pretty good about not letting external things slow me down and make me late — I can hang up the phone, for example.  BUT — when this blond mop goes into total revolt and I look like a chia pet whose head is exploding — well — I’m likely to be late — and probably in tears!  BUT — I’m mostly on time.

Roger — B+ Roger would ALWAYS be on time if he’d shoot his cell phone.  That’s his biggest downfall.  He’s pretty good about getting rid of friends, but if Miss DNA calls at the wrong time, Roger is gonna be late because she can talk forever and he doesn’t know how to get her off the phone.  BUT — Roger is mostly on time.

Meredith and Roger — very compatible “tardinesswise.” Both are mostly on time — both understand when the other is late, (as long as it doesn’t happen too frequently,) and both are willing to overlook an occasional problem.

Connie — A+ Connie is NEVER late — NEVER!  She is always totally in control of the situation and never gets caught by surprise.  I don’t know how she does it, but she always is ready at EXACTLY the right moment.

Steven — A+ Steven is NEVER late — just like Connie.  He always leaves a large margin of error — but never seems to need it — so he’s always early.  Connie leaves no margin of error — and still ALWAYS is on time.  Steven is as amazed as the rest of us at how she does it, but it doesn’t bother him because he’s learned from experience that she is never late.

Connie and Steven — about as close to perfectly compatible “timewise” as two people can get.

Kyla — F While Connie is never late, Kyla has never, ever in her whole life been on time!  Something ALWAYS happens.  Usually half a dozen “somethings!” She drives all of us crazy, (with ONE important exception!) Roger is always on her case about her tardiness.  Some because it bugs him but I think mostly because Kyla is always on his case about something else!  You would think the two of them are brother and sister — and they fight like brother and sister — and — love each other like brother and sister.  Remember that I said love has nothing to do with compatibility.  In a different time and place, Roger and Kyla could easily have gotten together as a couple — maybe even married — and then it would be a race to see who killed the other first!!

Rick — F Kyla drives everyone else crazy by being late but Rick takes it in stride.  Why? Because he’s just as lousy of time manager as she is!  If by some miracle we’re not waiting on Kyla, we’re gonna be waiting on Rick!

SO — Kyla and Rick both get F’s at being on time, but they get an A in compatibility!

Jocelyn — D+ Jocelyn isn’t as bad as Kyla and since she’s almost always ready before Kyla, she doesn’t get as much grief because she wasn’t the last one.  But still — Jocelyn is gonna be late 9 times out of 10.  And in some ways, her problem is even worse than Kyla and Rick’s.  Jocelyn just doesn’t have any sense of time.  She can’t figure out whether something is gonna take 10 minutes or 2 hours.  So her timing is always off and she’s late.  And — while I’m apologetic about being late — and Kyla is defiant about it — Jocelyn is mostly unaware of it!!!  Jocelyn sorta lives in her own “time” universe.  I really don’t think she realizes that she’s running late and that when she does appear that she is in fact late.

George — A++ George is not only always on time, it would be the end of the universe for him to be late!  As good as Connie and Steven are, they are no match for George.  He was an Eagle Scout and truly is absolutely completely totally always prepared for anything!  Read about the flash flood in the Hill Country Adventure to get an idea of George’s competency and preparedness.

SO — Jocelyn and George have got a very wide spread in compatibility.  And yet — they get along pretty well!  I’ve tried to figure this out more than once and all I can say is that Jocelyn doesn’t drive George crazy because he doesn’t expect her to live up to his punctuality standards.  He doesn’t expect ANYONE to live up to his standards!  I think it must be like a pro athlete with a bunch of amateur friends.  He makes allowances because they are amateurs.  SO — assuming that he keeps that attitude, then they probably rate about a B- in compatibility.  But, if he ever changes, this situation could be a problem and turn into an F quickly.

OK — now you know how we four couples stack up.  So take a look at your own relationship and see how things are for you.  Remember that Kyla and Rick’s individual “F’s” match up about as well as Connie and Steven’s “A’s.” And remember that Jocelyn and George could be heading for trouble if George wasn’t the kind of guy he is — and hopefully for Jocelyn’s sake, George will remain that way.

SO — what’s your tardiness grade — and compatibility grade??



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Last Updated: May 2006

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