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“The Boy and the Sheep!” • October 18, 2006

Don't you just love happy endings?

Once upon a time in some tiny, tiny little country I can’t remember the name of at the moment, there lived a kid whose job was to watch over the village’s flock of sheep at night and to sound the alarm if the wolves arrived.  Needless to say, this was a VERY boring job — particularly for a mischievous young lad.

SO — one night he decides that he’ll stir things up a little!!

He screams out the agreed upon alarm, “Wolf!  Wolf!  Wolf!” All the members of the village’s volunteer wolf militia jump out of their beds, grab their guns, and race out to the field to blast the wolves!

Of course, there were no wolves!  When they arrive the kid is laughing himself silly, “Ha-Ha-Ha!!  I sure fooled all of you!!!  Ha-Ha-Ha!!!”

A number of minor threats were issued by the militia and they eventually returned home and to sleep.

The kid spends the next hour weighing the promised punishments against the joy of dragging everyone out of bed — and Mischief Wins Out!!  So again he screams, “Wolf!  Wolf!  Wolf!” Again the militia piles out of bed, grabs their guns, and races to the field.  Only to be laughed at again by the kid!!!

VERY serious threats were issued, the kid apologized, and the militia went back to bed.

An hour later, all the militiamen hear the kid screaming ,“Wolf!  Wolf!  Wolf!” They all remembered how the brat fooled them twice before and so they all went back to sleep!

Ten minutes later there is a horrendous pounding on all their front doors!!

To make a long story short, the wolves really had showed up this time — and the kid was making such a ruckus screaming “Wolf!” (and being generally obnoxious,) that they ate him to shut him up and left the sheep alone.  Every lawyer in the entire country heard about the incident and immediately filed gazillion dollar wrongful death suits against the militia!!  (I know it was only ten minutes, but it was a tiny country and lawyers always find out things first.)

One of the militiamen wasn’t quite the hayseed the lawyers took him for, so he suggested that they all get together in the village square and try to settle things.

Once everyone was assembled, the non-hayseed said, “Look, guys, this is a total waste of your time.  No one here has any money — between the whole bunch of us you couldn’t find two dimes to rub together.  BUT — if you really want to rake in the BIG BUCKS, you need to go after the wolves!  They’re filthy RICH!  Totally LOADED!!”

A lawyer asks incredulously, “The WOLVES have MONEY????”

“They sure do — they got deeper pockets than Exxon and Wal-Mart put together!!  But if you’re gonna sue them, you’d better hurry before they skip out across the border.”

SO — the lawyers all stampeded out into the fields — and the wolves found them to be even more obnoxious that the screaming brat — so the wolves ate all the lawyers — and then the wolves all died from food poisoning!!!

Thus, the village lived happily ever after without the screaming brat, without the wolves, and without the lawyers!!!

And the moral of the story is — every cloud has a silver lining!!



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Last Updated: October 2006

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