|The Website all about ME!!!|
|The Meredith Tattler PREMIERES!!|
October 18, 2006
A quick introduction to the latest scandal sheet!!
Let’s face it — EVERYONE is fascinated by the supermarket tabloids. Of course, no one would ever admit it, but just stand in the checkout line and it’s impossible not to read the tantalizing headlines. I mean, who could resist not wondering about, “Adopted Six Headed Space Alien Eats Mom’s Cherished Barbie Collection!!”
SO — even though you turn your nose up at such total fabricated nonsense, (let’s just HOPE it’s fabricated,) I know that all of you out there are just as hungry for juicy headlines as I am.
THEREFORE — strike up the band for a deafening fanfare —
Presenting the all new, totally fabricated, vicious lie packed answer to supermarket boredom —
THE MEREDITH TATTLER!!!
Now you won’t have to sneak peaks when you hope no one is watching!! You can read this little gem right there in the total privacy of your own home and no one will ever be the wiser! You won’t have to try to figure out what the “real” story is behind the sensational headlines — you can actually read the magazine! And even better — it won’t cost you a cent!! (Be sure to invest the saved money in fabulous goodies from the equally fabulous MeredithMart!!)
When I first proposed doing this, the overwhelming response was, “If you start writing some of that crud, people will sue you for your last dime, Meredith!!”
Well — being a super intelligent blond — in fact, being the MOST super intelligent blond — it was easy for me to figure out the perfect solution!
All of the scandalous lies will be about ME!!!
That way I get to write this verbal drool — and you get to read it — and no one has baying lawyers showing up on their doorsteps — particularly me!
And it will completely fill you need for scandal! I mean, after all, do you really care WHICH celebrities are being ordered off to Rehab? As long as the weekly quota is being met the actual names don’t really matter!
So after assembling a top of the line editorial staff and dedicated staff writers, (and as a public service, this also cleared out a lot of street corner scam artists,) we’re ready to launch this incredible new delight here in MeredithLand!
By the way — I do have SOME dignity — there will be NO “unflattering” pictures of blimped out starlets showing off their corduroy stretch marks and cellulite in thong bikinis. I don’t want anyone losing their lunch all over the computer monitor!!
One last thing, be sure to tell all of your friends that you NEVER EVER READ THE MEREDITH TATTLER!!
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This takes you back to the Meredith Tattler Index page for more shocking stories, outrageous lies, and sensational rumors all about your favorite blond!! Just be sure that no one sees you reading them! (You might want to hide in the closet with a laptop while catching up on all the juicy Meredith gossip!)
This takes you to the Heart of MeredithLand™ and will get you anywhere you want to go! And show you anything you want to SEE! AND — it will get you to all the treasures of MeredithMart™ so you can give your credit card some well needed exercise! Think how much happier it will be!
Last Updated: October 2006
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