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October 18, 2006

Can't these morons get ANYTHING right??

Reporter »

“Keep a camera on the front door and another on the emergency entrance — we don’t know which door she’ll be coming out.  We don’t want to miss anything.”

Cameraman »

“We won’t miss them.  They’ve got to come back here to the car.  Look!  Here comes her sister out of the hospital’s emergency room entrance — she’s got her boyfriend with her, too.”

Reporter »

“Miss Albright, Miss Albright!  Wait a moment!  Can you give us an update? How much longer will Miss Wilson be in the hospital”

Jocelyn »

“That’s rather hard to say at this juncture.  Things are proving more difficult than were initially anticipated.  The procedures are proving extremely troublesome.”

Reporter »

“Gee!  That’s too bad!  But — Uh — well — we’ve heard some rumors that the dragon may be put up for adoption — or even put down.”

Jocelyn »

“That’s total balderdash!  Dear Fauncy was no way to blame!  In fact, George here and Roger were the real culprits.  There were the ones tossing his ball indoors.  If they hadn’t been teasing him — and Meredith hadn’t gotten tangled up in the melee — then nothing would have happened.  It was just a silly accident.”

Reporter »

“How bad was the break?”

Jocelyn »

“It was quite substantial.  They suspect that reconstruction will be rather difficult, requiring some internal pinning, surface reconstruction, and even then, no one really believes that it will ever be quite the same.”

Reporter »

“So it would be safe to say that this broken leg tragedy was the result of two irresponsible Neanderthals teasing a clumsy dragon while a dumb, clumsy blonde ditz was in the wrong place at the wrong time?”

Jocelyn »

“George, you are much more knowledgeable about these things than I — so tell me, Dear — if I apply my right foot to this odious little twit’s posterior — how far do think I could kick him?”

George »

“Not nearly as far as one of the Neanderthals is planning on kicking him!  You’re headed for orbit, Buddy!!”

Reporter »

[This is great!!!!  Keep the camera rolling!!!!!]

“I think Neanderthal is a perfect description of a knuckle dragging behemoth like you!”

George »

“Look, Buddy, I think —”

Jocelyn »

“Stop, George!!  STOP!!  Let me handle this cretin!  First — the ‘Neanderthals’ were about to take Fauncy down for a little play time in the park.  He was justifiably excited because they are much more adept at tossing his bowling ball about than we ladies.  And Meredith did nothing that could be considered even remotely clumsy.  All she did was step out of the ladies’ room to find Fauntleroy bearing down upon her at speed.  And Fauntleroy was certainly not clumsy and in fact displayed amazing agility considering his size and momentum in leaping out of the way to avoid striking Meredith.  It was just an unfortunate circumstance that with limited room, he came down on the edge of the coffee table and broke the leg off it.  While it is a semi-cherished hand-me-down it’s not exactly a valuable antique.  I’m sure that the furniture repair trades people will do an excellent job on the reconstruction.  So I’ll hear no more discussion of Neanderthals or remarks of the clumsiness of lady or creature.  Now if you will excuse us, we need to get back inside with Meredith in an attempt to finish this rather demanding animation sequence for the new hospital.  Good Day, ‘Gentlemen!’ And Goodbye and Good Riddance!!”

“Wait!!  On second thought — why don’t all of you pop by Meredith’s apartment after we finish here? It would provide you an excellent opportunity to interview the ‘clumsy’ dragon.  You know — an up close and very, very personal interview.  I would venture that dear Fauncy might enjoy having you chaps stay for ‘Dinner!’”



Meredith »

Nope — I don’t even feel a tinge of regret and would never think of apologizing!

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Last Updated: October 2006

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