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Meredith’s WILD WEEKEND
DRINKING BINGE!!!

October 18, 2006

Kyla is Dead Meat!!!


Reporter »

“Miss Wilson, we understand that you created quite a disturbance last night at the Thai House Restaurant.”

Meredith »

“How did you guys find out about that?!?!?”

Reporter »

“We have our sources, Miss Wilson.  You can’t get away with anything while the staff of The Meredith Tattler is on watch.”

Meredith »

“Why don’t you creeps go bother someone else — and just leave me alone!  I’m not feeling very well anyway!”

Reporter »

“We can well understand why you might be experiencing some ‘discomfort,’ Miss Wilson.”

Meredith »

“Discomfort isn’t the half of it!  Please leave!  I don’t want to talk to you anymore!”

Reporter »

“Look Miss Wilson — the story is all over town — everyone knows — this is your one chance to try to explain, (if possible,) your actions.”

Meredith »

“Oh — well — OK — come on in — sit down while I get another glass of milk.  It’s about the only thing that makes me feel any better.”

Reporter »

“So what happened, Miss Wilson.  When did you start drinking? Were you drinking before you got to the bar?”

Meredith »

“NO!  I didn’t have anything.  We just went out to dinner.  The place had just opened the week before and was totally packed!  It was a mad house!”

Reporter »

“So you had to wait for a table?”

Meredith »

“Yeah — a long wait, so we went into the bar — but it was packed, too.  There was nowhere to sit.  Roger muscled his way up to the bar and finally got us a couple of bottles of wine and some glasses.”

Reporter »

“So you drank a ‘couple’ of bottles of wine.”

Meredith »

“EIGHT of us drank a couple of bottles of wine — figure it out — I didn’t even have two full glasses!”

Reporter »

“So you were drinking wine — then what happened?”

Meredith »

“Well — it was really all Kyla’s fault.  She was the one that was so hot to trot to check out the new restaurant — she loves Thai food.  And of course we all like trying new things.  But it was so crowded.  Finally, they came around with a menu so we could order before we got a table.  The restaurant was really trying to make the most of their limited resources.  You ordered from the bar — then when you got to the table, your food was waiting for you.  I guess they figured they could turn their tables quicker that way.”

Reporter »

“So you ordered from the bar?”

Meredith »

“Actually, Kyla ordered for all of us.  She insisted on picking out eight different dishes that we’d all share so we could get a quick and comprehensive introduction to the cuisine.  So — we let her do the ordering.  We got one more bottle of wine while we waited, and then they came and took us to our table.”

Reporter »

“So you drank three bottle of wine?”

Meredith »

“EIGHT OF US DRANK THREE BOTTLE OF WINE, YOU JERK!”

Reporter »

“And then you got to the table.”

Meredith »

“Yeah.  Everything looked and smelled really good.  Kyla was explained about each dish as we tried it.  She scooped up a big spoon of one of them and handed it to me to try.  So I did.  I KNEW I WAS GONNA DIE!!  It had looked so good with all the little red things in it — I didn’t know that they were HABENEROS!!  My throat constricted!  I couldn’t breathe!!  My eyes puffed up instantly and I was crying and couldn’t see!!  Everything from my lips to the pit of my stomach was burning — it was like I’d taken a big drink of molten lava!!!  So I grabbed my water glass and chugged it — and Roger’s water — and Kyla’s water — and I was at death’s door — and a waiter was walking by — and he had a pitcher of water on his tray — so I grabbed for it — but I couldn’t see because I was crying so hard — and I missed the pitcher — and it started to fall — so I grabbed for it — and fell out of the chair — and knocked down the waiter — and I was lying on the floor in the spilled water and tangled up with the waiter — and I WAS DYING!!!  And they pulled me off the floor and poured glass after glass of water down me — but I still felt awful — I couldn’t stop drinking and drinking and drinking trying to put the fire out!!  And then I knew I was gonna be sick, so the girls hauled me to the ladies room!!  I eventually got home and have been sick ever since.  As soon as I feel well enough, I gonna go kill Kyla for not warning me!”

********************

Reporter »

“BREAKING NEWS!!  Meredith Issues DEATH THREAT to Former Friend!!!”

“Read all the Sordid Details in The Meredith Tattler!!!”


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Last Updated: October 2006


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