|The Website all about ME!!!|
|“Parking Lot Pranks : 2” • November 30, 2005|
Here we go again with more —
Brandlehurst seems to have had a slight run-in with Woodland Wildlife Show herds — yet again! He really shouldn’t complain — at least this time he didn’t end up in traction!!
“But anyway — her we go — take it away, Brandlehurst!!”
“Thank you, Dear.”
“One of the most annoying practices of the Woodland Meredith (titivaticus snuggleupacus) and Scottish Jocelyn (melonlicious buxomicus) herds is their ‘shake down’ tactics at the local shopping areas. They cluster in the parking lots and offer to ‘watch your car for 5 dollars, Mister.’”
“While most of the residents of their habitat willingly give them the money, I of course would never accede to such outrageous highway robbery! Crime is virtually non-existence in their entire range and I see no reason at all to waste money on these ne’er-do-well con artists.”
“Accordingly, when approached by these hustlers during a foray to the local grocery mart for my staple diet of sardines and sauerkraut, I sternly rebuffed their attempts at extortion!!”
“After a most unpleasant experience in the check out lines, (the sign clearly says 10 items or less and I was only buying sardines and sauerkraut — that’s just two items — never mind how many baskets of each I purchased,) I returned to the parking lot to find that my most beloved Dweebmobile had been savagely vandalized!!”
“The herd had disappeared from sight but in my heart of hearts I know that they were the culprits. After all, who else would have written ‘cheapskate’ hundreds of times in red and pink lipstick all over the defenseless Dweebmobile!!”
“You can’t blame them, Brandlehurst. You really are a cheapskate.”
“Nonsense! I just spend my money wisely!”
“Hmmm — like paying palimony to a teddy bear? But — OK — they shouldn’t have written all over the Dweebmobile. Did you get all the lipstick washed off?”
“Finally! And sadly a few more parts of the Dweebmobile fell off in the process.”
“After the massive wreck on the Golden Gate Bridge while we were chasing Merezilla, you really should trade off that pile of junk. How many monthly payments do you have left?”
“I’m down to 356. I suspect I’ll be keeping the Dweebmobile for a long time.”
“Gee, that’s too bad! Maybe you should just shoot it and put it out of its misery.”
“How dare you say such a thing about my beloved — [click]”
“Golly gee whiz — it looks like Brandlehurst’s microphone malfunctioned — again! But anyway — that wraps up one more segment of the Woodland Wildlife Show and of course, this episode of — ”
Stay tuned — Brandlehurst’s troubles with the wildlife are just getting started!!!
We’ve just completed our exhaustive survey of all advanced civilizations in the Milky Way Galaxy and the results are astounding!! 97.6% of all space aliens agreed that a Signature Meredith™ was the coolest art work in the ENTIRE Milky Way Galaxy!! WOW!!!! (We couldn’t understand the survey results from the other 2.4% — what the dickens does “mhrazitsaplick” mean??? Anyone got a Canopian dictionary I can borrow?) (By the way, you won’t believe the number of frequent flyer miles our survey staff is racking up!!) In the face of this overwhelming galactic endorsement, how can any sentient entity not immediately dust off their checks books and get an incredible Signature Meredith™ of “Parking Lot Pranks : 2” today. You should immediately grab yours before the space alien hordes clean out the inventory! It’s available in standard sizes from an intimate 10 inches by 8 inches, (about 21 inches by 19 inches with frame and matte,) up to a wall filling 30 inches by 24 inches, )about 41 inches by 35 inches with frame and matte.) We also do additional custom sizes. Each is hand signed and numbered and handcrafted in the finest museum presentation tradition. It’s also available as a budget friendly genuine Meredith Poster. And for selected poses, you can own a fabulous Life Size Meredith Cutout for wall or floor display! Check out all the details on the Buy Me page! Grab your Fabulous Signature Meredith™ today and avoid the risk of being trampled under the pseudopods of art ravenous space aliens!! And don’t forget to grab your own other treasures from MeredithMart™ before the space aliens start a run on it, too!!
This one is in Color, in Landscape Format, and with the herd's Natural Bottoms!
This is the Current Picture being displayed above. It’s in Gray Scale, in Landscape Format, and with the herd's Natural Bottoms!
|Woodland Wildlife Show Gallery Navigation|
So they wake up a little cranky in the morning — big deal! Doesn’t everyone? It’s in Color, in Landscape Format, and with the herd's Natural Bottoms! It’s tilted “Daybreak : 1”
It looks like the local constabulary didn’t do so well on this bust! It’s in Color, in Landscape Format, and with the herd's Natural Bottoms! It’s tilted “Joy Ride : 1”
What a thoroughly delightful golf story — and with such a happy ending!! It’s in Color, in Landscape Format, and with the herd's Natural Bottoms! It’s tilted “Links Infestation : 1”
It has links to the “Quick Thinking!”, “Stalemate!”, “Obvious Solution”, “Hunting Party”, “The Captive!”, “Joy Ride”, “Parking Lot Pranks”, “Links Infestation”, “Trick or Treat!”, “Santa Preparations”, and “Shocking Development” families of pictures.
This is the ongoing wildlife nature show following the naked blond herds of Woodland Meredith’s (gazoongabus thunderiffic) and Scottish Jocelyn’s (hooteratii heroicus) as they live out their carefree lives in our local urban forest. The Woodland Meredith’s and Scottish Jocelyn’s are wild animals — you know, like deer, or squirrels, or something — that by an incredible coincidence, just happen to look like me and my sister Jocelyn! That can lead a to a few problems of mistaken identify at times! The show is hosted by world renowned nature researcher Brandlehurst Thistlebot (with a little help from yours truly!) Brandlehurst has had his share of mishaps with the herd and now finds himself matching wits with them on a daily basis (and not doing too well in the wit matching department!) In fact, he even quit at one point — but returned with a certain dark cloud of rumors hanging about his head! So — On With The Show!!! PS — it might be a good idea to lock up your cash, valuables, and particularly high limit credit cards before you get too close to these woodland fauna!!
This is the place to check how my campaign for President in 2008, (and Jocelyn’s for Vice-President,) is shaping up. AND — you can also check on the status of those billion dollar dump truck loads of money that’ll be rolling to your driveway!! We’ve really been working hard at our campaign strategy and had a gazillion details to take care of. And we’ve also been keeping a close eye on Dweebert Possiltot and his PMS/Weevil Party. Dweebert is running against me for President. (He’s still trying to find some species that will serve as his Vice-Presidential running mate. Good Luck!) Just remember that Wilson/Albright is the ticket for 2008!! Peace, Prosperity, and Pink Flamingos are coming your way!!
Just when you thought that California couldn’t possibly get any stranger — Merezilla appeared out of the ocean one day off the northern coastline. (Only three syllables, “Mare Zil Luh.”) Despite what fuddy duddy Professor Brandelhurst Thistlebot thinks, (he’s on loan as narrator from the Woodland Wildlife show,) Merezilla certainly isn’t a monster. I mean, how could she possibly be a monster — she looks like me!!! She’s a really sweet girl — and blond — and 2000 foot tall — with a really bad case of the munchies — that’s gets her into just a tiny little insignificant bit of trouble! (Give the girl a break — they’re always having to rebuild San Francisco anyway! And we did manage to distract her so Los Angeles didn’t get eaten!) While the construction companies (and confectioners) work around the clock, we’ll be checking back in on Merezilla shortly. There’s a rumor, that she’s about to take a “walkabout” (as our Aussie friends would say) through the rest of the country. Watch for her to be terrorizing a city near you in the not too distance future. (You might want to consider moving to a really small town way, way out in the hinterlands!)
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|This picture was first posted to my web site on March 17, 2006.|
Last Updated: October 2006
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